Famous Last Words

"All I have to do is throw a onesie on him and I'll be there!"
Famous. Last. Words.
Almost every Tuesday I meet my friend Brittany to walk and go out to eat. Since Bo was born it seems like I'm always late to meet her. But not this Tuesday. I was determined to be on time, and it was all working out. Bo had just finished his meal at Buffet a la Boob and I just needed to change his clothes and we were out the door. Or so I thought.
It started innocently enough. I took off his footie pajamas and started to change his diaper. The very second that I pulled the dirty diaper out from under his butt a stream of poop shot (literally) across the changing table. It hit the changing pad, the onesie I was planning to dress him in, the wall, my hand, and the super cute (now virtually destroyed) duck basket on the changing table. Well, that was disgusting. So as quick as I could I put a clean diaper under his butt, yanked a wipe out of the box and started cleaning off his rear end.
*DING* Round 2: I look down to see a RIVER of pee flowing next to him. Now the changing pad is useless. There is poop on one end and pee all down the middle. I look around for a place to put him and realize that my only option is the floor, so down he goes. I get him all cleaned up, put on a fresh diaper and a new, clean, onesie.
At this point I realize that if I leave all of this mess it will stain, so I put Bo in his cradle, grab everything with bodily fluids on it, and start spraying it with Shout. Once that job is done, I grab Bo and head for the car seat. On the way I realize that he feels damp. Yep, he'd peed AGAIN, soaking his whole left side! So I change him AGAIN, put him in the car seat and head out.
I was only 20 minutes late...